9wk puppy, second night home. He cried for 4 hours in the crate last night. Couldn’t stand it — brought him into my bed and he slept like a champ.
Now I’m worried I've already made a mistake. Trainers say crate-train. Dog forums are mixed. What did you actually do? And how did it turn out?
3 dogs, 3 different approaches:
- Dog 1: crate trained from night 1, slept in crate next to my bed for 4 weeks, then graduated to her own bed in the bedroom. Easy.
- Dog 2: cried for 6 nights in the crate. Felt awful. Eventually moved the crate INTO my bed (next to me, door open). She self-graduated to her own bed at 6 months.
- Dog 3: in my bed from night 1. Now 5 years old. Still in my bed. Don’t care.
The dogs are all well-adjusted, none have separation anxiety, no destructive behaviors. The crate isn't a moral imperative — it's a tool for housebreaking and safety. If your puppy is housebroken and safe in the room, the crate is optional.
Reasons to crate-train regardless: hospital stays, boarding, post-surgery recovery. Better the dog has the skill than not, even if you don't use it daily.
From a behavior + practical standpoint:
- 9 weeks old means he’s in his second night away from littermates — the crying is grief and disorientation, not stubbornness. Letting him sleep on your bed isn’t spoiling him; it’s reducing his cortisol enough that he can sleep.
- Long-term you do want him to be able to settle alone — for emergencies, hospitalisation, boarding, your own travel. The fastest path to this is gradual, not dramatic. Crate next to your bed, then crate in another room, then alone — over weeks, not nights.
- Housebreaking is the one place where crating has a clear advantage. A puppy in your bed is less likely to alert you to needing out, and may have accidents. If that’s not happening, the bed is fine.
Both paths reach the same outcome with a good adult dog. The path matters less than the consistency.